Thursday, 16 October 2014

Who Is Hannah Wolf?

I read somewhere recently that in Daoism it was common for a Daoist master to give his disciple a new name as they entered a new phase in their life - a rebirth of a sort. Whether true or not, this struck a chord with me. I was not born Hannah Wolf and it is not the name on my passport but for some time now I've been feeling as if I have entered a new phase in my life. Whilst I would never want to fully disown where it is that I have come from, I feel quite distant from that person (the person I was, not the people I knew and loved, still love). Me, back then, I was such a disjointed being - it was like my bones didn't fit my skin. A soul adrift in a sea of mired misery of my own creation, unable to see land. Thinking of my inner life back then, makes my fillings hurt - a dull yet excruciating ache. Fortunately, that thick molasses in the brain has long since dissipated and I breathe more clearly. I have reached a point in my life where, perhaps not fully..and perhaps never so.. but, for the most part I am comfortable in my own skin. I know who I am and I'm at home with it.
In short, Hannah Wolf is my alter-ego, a given name that I have given myself. More pragmatically, the name was chosen because Hannah (or Chana to be more precise) is a name of spiritual significance for me. I picked it for other reasons a few years ago but I took it then, as I do now, in honour of Chaplin's speech in the film, The Great Dictator - "Look up Hannah, look up...the sky is clearing." A symbol of hope and strength.
Wolf is slightly more twee in its reasoning. It has nothing to do with Virginia (wrong spelling for a start) or Chester Burnett (my Blues knowledge isn't that strong). It is no more than canis lupis, pure and simple. In a deep and inexplicable way, I have felt connected to grey wolves since as early in my life as I can remember. I have no known reason as to why and believe me, I have tried to analyse it many, many times over the years but have yet to find any logical (or even illogical) reason. I have asked other people if they have a favourite animal, if they feel connected to any particular species other than our own...and the overwhelming majority look at me like I am bizarre. Yet, since I was a young child, it is the wolf myths and tales that have held my fascination, that still hold it today. It is their fierceness and their independence coupled with their familial loyalty. Both free yet belonging. Another symbol of strength.
And so it is then, my gadr, my mantra, my abracadabra. Who is Hannah Wolf?  She is, at her worst, an egoistic incantation and at her best, a very personal prayer.

Tuesday, 23 July 2013

Back on Track

Can't believe it has been close to six month since I posted last. In that time I have attended Cannes film festival, graduated from university, given up smoking and begun my new and exciting post-academia life.

During the last 5 months I have fallen on and off the dietary wagon many a time but feel I'm finally starting to find some balance.

At the moment, I would say, I'm 100% vegetarian, 98% vegan and about 90% raw. Within all of that I try as much as possible to stick to the Dr Doug Graham formula of 80/10/10 - that is, 80% carbs/ 10% fat/ 10% protein.

There are healthy and unhealthy ways of eating vegan and of eating omnivorously but it has come to be my belief that the optimal healthy diet is one free from meat, dairy and preferably wheat as well.

When you don't eat like the vast majority of the population, this kind of eating lifestyle can seem odd or restrictive but for the first time ever I've been able to make major positive shifts in my eating habits without it feeling like a chore or a punishment.

So many health benefits are thrown about with relation to eating raw - abundant energy, needing less sleep, weight loss, clearer mind. Although I think a lot of it is exaggerated, even at this early stage I feel it's not all complete nonsense.

The energy thing is 100% true. Sometimes I feel I have so much energy I might burst if I don't go for a jog or do some kind of exercise. It's kind of like drinking a big coffee except without the heart palpitations, the inability to concentrate and the almighty crash as the caffeine wears off.

Needing less sleep...I should cocoa!!! The day I need less sleep is the day I'm worshipped for miracles. I don't need less sleep but I wake up a lot less groggy than I used to. I have been getting a lot less sleep than I usually do but most of that is down to stupid hot weather and the sun coming glaring through the windows at very unseemly hours of the morning!

Weight loss - hmm...I must say I had a good old panic when I first started eating High Carb Low Fat. I don't tend to weigh myself but I do measure my waist and in a matter of days I gained two inches round my waist and looked like I'd swallowed a beach ball. I was very disheartened. I wasn't overly worried about losing weight, I'm no bikini model but I'm a UK 10 so certainly not obese either.....but GAINING weight! That was not something I hoped for!! Not after it took me so long to lose all the 'living in America' weight in the first place.
HOWEVER, this weight gain was easily sorted out when I realised it was water weight, bad food combining and some serious bloating as my body got used to the amount of fruit I was eating. I now try not to mix anything other than greens with my fruit meals to help with digestion and after about 1-2 weeks my body seems to have adjusted to the fibre content of my new lifestyle.

Clearer mind- I'm still in the early stages and my diet is not 100 per cent clean so maybe I'll never notice greater clarity but as I mentioned earlier, I am a lot less groggy in the mornings. I would also say, unless I'm imagining things, that my moods are a lot less swingy and that in turn is helping my brain with the no cigarettes.

So, HOW has my diet changed? Here is a list of a typical day. It is not perfectly vegan, it is not perfectly HCLF raw either but for the sake of being honest, here it is:

Breakfast (about 8 or 9 o'clock)
A four banana green smoothie (bananas, water and greens)
2 banana pudding (bananas and cocoa)

Lunch (about 12 or 1 o'clock)
A four banana green smoothie

Snack
Some salt and vinegar snack-a-jacks and either a packet of polo mints or a very small chocolate bar. (This is where I slip the most....but I wanted to be honest)

Dinner
Varies but is usually a cooked vegan meal involving brown rice or gluten free soba or wakame noodles.

After dinner
Peppermint tea

That's pretty much it....though I'm not hungry after dinner, after a couple of hours, I do psychologically feel the need to eat something more, so sometimes I give in to that and will have a piece of fruit and bloatiness be damned.

This usually means I take in somewhere around 1800 calories or more. I do struggle a little with making sure to get enough protein but I'm usually only slightly under and I'm monitoring that and figuring out ways to increase it without the fat content skyrocketing...though again, it differs from the 80/10/10 raw food ideal..I may strategically eat a few almonds or macadamias as an if all else fails alternative.

A slight side note with regards to fibre and the amount of fruit you need to consume to get enough calories...when I first started to eat 6 bananas worth of food in the morning, it was a real struggle and hurt my stomach to the point of being uncomfortable and er..not to be too graphic..but it didn't seem to hang around too long after I'd eaten either.
However, after less than two weeks, my body has adjusted to the caloric density and breakfast has become the high point of my eating day.
If and when I start to increase exercise I reckon I'd have no trouble upping the fruit some more.

So, there you have it. I plan to keep this blog updated with how things are going and to be honest as possible about how I'm doing and how I'm feeling about it all. My way of eating right now is still  a work in progress and will, fingers crossed, become closer to the 80 10 10 ideal. However, I know myself fairly well and I am aware that if I were to be a zealot about such things, I would only rebel against myself and be doomed to failure (failure = S.A.D diet...(is that right way to say it Standard American Diet diet??). This is my own personal food-body experiment and I'm excited to see how it goes and if these will be, as I hope, lasting changes.

Monday, 18 March 2013

Students, listen to Howard Beale!

Howard Beale, irate news anchor from the 1976 film, Network, has a lesson or two for my fellow students.
Most of which can be summarised into his famous war cry:

"I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more!!!"

I was very lucky to join university when I did. Ours was the last year before the major fees hike. Now, all the students who follow are looking at £9,000 per year for minimum three years and a debt that will follow and likely outlast their eventual death.

But to add insult to injury, I have since discovered (if my information is correct) that at my particular university, not only is the fee increase applicable but students will also have a decrease in their annual bursary from £500 a year to £100. Bursaries are different from university to university. The government gives incentives to hand them out but it is not compulsory. Some universities have them, some don't. With ours, we are given this award but we can only spend it through the university's own shop. (The profit going back into the coffers). Not only that but any unspent money at the end of the degree, if students fail to fill out the complicated forms, go back into the university's system and what can be bought at the shop is very restrictive. Paper module readers are provided by the university at a cost but are not covered under the bursary so students have to dig into their living allowance to pay for them. Students doing film degrees have access to some amazing electronic equipment - computers, software, digital cameras etc so fair play for that but try asking for dvds that relate to coursework or dissertation and watch the barriers come up.

Yet, as I've said, even with the restrictiveness, I have been lucky......lucky?? Wait, am I wrong in thinking there was a time when education was free? When education, as I believe it should be, was not restricted by who could afford it, but who had the drive to achieve it?

Like Mr Beale, I am mad! I am mad for myself, someone who is being told by a government whose generation received a next to free education that I must spend years in debt for a privelege....a privelege that in their generation was a right...
but most of all I am mad for those coming after. For those that will be longer and deeper in debt than I but MOSTLY for those that will not be able to afford the "privilege" at all. If £9,000 a year is not enough to turn prospective students away, then the lack of support during the studies may well be. Not all students can rely on Mummy and Daddy handouts to get by.

It all leaves me with a very bitter taste in my mouth and the persistent and pervasive thought that this is some kind of governmental survival technique....for the well educated would surely not vote them back in...

So why then, students, young people in general, aren't you getting mad? Yes, there have been a couple of protests but on a daily basis, I see no evidence of such passion. There seems to me a severe excess of apathy with the whole thing.  I am sure it can't be because you have no feeling about your future. Perhaps you feel pessimistic about the future as a whole...or is it because you feel powerless? Well, if so, listen to this....where did the Hungarian revolution begin?? ...In the universities. Where did the very concept of Green politics begin? In the universities. Student protest played a major part in the African-American civil rights movement, opposition to the Vietnam War and the struggle against Apartheid in South Africa. The overthrowing of the Greek dictatorship in the 70s has a rather bloody and sad history but again, its beginnings lie in the educational institutions.

I am by no means suggesting a coup against the Tory government... or am I? (probably not. Lol) but merely trying to show you that students are far from powerless within the political arena.

An increase in fees may seem a small thing when put up against issues such as human rights, needless war or the environment but small things often become big things (said the actress tothe bishop)and you do not have to accept that this is how things are. You do not have to accept that you haven't the ability to change it. You are the only ones who CAN change it. You are the only ones who can tell the government that it is unacceptable that they choose whether or not you get an education.

The government is there to work for you, not the other way around....so get a little bit mad, let them know that your voice deserves to be heard.

Tell them, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more!"


Tuesday, 5 March 2013

Becoming a SuperVegan

I had been vegetarian for a while but I was the kind of vegetarian who would, on occassion, slip and eat Burger King. After an episode of a quirky comedy show I even found a name to excuse it. I was simply "stress eating meat". Oh, ok then, then that's ok.
After this birthday I started to get a bit more serious and lay off of the meats but dairy, I told myself, I can't live without cheese or worse yet, ICE CREAM! That's just ridiculous. Besides, I'm just a vegetarian for health reasons not ethical ones.
Then, thanks to a twitter post by Kerry whose story I'd read through the website Vegan Testimonial I discovered an internet radio show called Citizen Radio. I think I was at the point where I was ready and open to what they had to say. Probably because I knew, in my heart of hearts, that all the reasons for not giving up on ice cream or having a sneaky burger every now and then before were not reasons at all but excuses.
So, now I am a fully-fledged vegan. I don't eat cheese and I don't eat ice cream (because I know what's in them and can't guarantee how the animals are treated) and I CERTAINLY don't have a sneaky meat burger every now and then.
It's only been about a week so I haven't really had enough time to say I miss dairy but I'm discovering alternatives. I tried soy ice cream the other day and bought some vegan cheese for grilled cheese too. I have to confess that neither product hit the spot. Neither tasted like the REAL thing but it's a decision about what's important to me. For me, the fact that I can't guarantee those cows have had/ are having a good life gives me the motivation not to eat it and whilst I might not find a substitute that tastes EXACTLY like Ben and Jerrys, I have faith that I will find new tastes that will be different but just as good. (Have I mentioned my addiction to Kale?)
I think another person I have to mention in this post as motivation for my transition to veganism is an ex-housemate of mine. I'm not sure if she'd want to be named so I will leave it vague like this but she will know who I'm talking about if she were to ever read this.
We lived in a share house together about five years ago and although it's taken me until now to actually go vegan I think her example was definitely part of the process. Mainly, I think, because up until then, I thought all vegans were shouty and preachy and would try and tell me I was evil....to be honest, I've never met a vegan like that but I think, much like a tee-totaller who goes out to the pub with his mates..because they are abstaining from something for ethical reasons, we take it as a judgement on ourselves and the hackles go up.
Anyway, but because my housemate was never judgemental (she couldn't be with an omnivorous bordering on carnivorous boyfriend) and was very unassuming in her vegan-ness I was less defensive about it and I became a lot more curious about her eating habits. I think, her example, and that of my vegetarian aunt, gave me the impetus to even just go vegetarian.
All kinds of horror stories and stereotypes get put about about vegetarians and vegans. The one about them being pasty and without energy immediately springs to mind, let alone all the supposed nutrient deficiencies, which for the most part, all you have to do is a little bit of reading to realise are untrue.
 I don't want to be a preachy vegan but at the same time, I think it's very important to negate the fallacies that get put about. All I know, is that, as I've said before, the less animal product I eat, the healthier I feel. I am two dress sizes lighter since going veg, even if it wasn't the strictest....and when I'm eating mainly fruit and veg, contrary to popular belief about vegans and vegetarians, I have SOOOOOOOOOO much energy that often times, I'm not sure what to do with it. I have to be careful not to have smoothies too close to bed time or I'm bouncing off the walls!
I will be interested to see what the health difference between vegan and veg are as time goes on and I will keep you posted.
In the meantime, comment below and leave me all your favourite myths about veganism/vegetarianism and in a later post I can address them and allay any fears about my supposed imminent bad health! lol

Sunday, 24 February 2013

Men...this is not for you!

Dear males of  a nervous disposition. You may wish to disregard this next post as it is likely to contain discussion of certain female monthly events.

Whilst a natural phenomenon, I understand that some men, even women, are uncomfortable talking about menstrual cycles but trying to live closer to nature inevitably leads to accepting the natural physical phenomena of your own body...and there is something slightly empowering about this.

I am still far too English to be dancing naked and publicly displaying my every body insecurity but I am ready to mention out loud the female cycle.

Growing up, it was never an unmentionable topic but there were still remnants of the previous generation when it certainly had been. My much younger brother, at the age of about three, still thought that sanitary pads were ACTUALLY called "You-Know-Whats"!!!

However, whilst the new, greener me advocates women talking openly about their menstrual cycles in a bid to make sure younger girls don't think of it as something dirty or shameful...I have never been comfortable with the financial cost and the wastage that each monthly cycle produces.

Therefore, I have finally invested in reusable sanitary pads. Now...I know that straight away there will be some people who read that and feel disgusted. A fair few months ago perhaps I would have felt the same but still... To them I say very sweetly...get over it! Not only are reusable products used in much of the non-western world already but why is it okay to clean and reuse dirty, smelly, pooey cloth nappies but not sanitary products? Surely there's not that much difference??

At this stage I have only purchased pads bought online through Luxury Moon . I have no experience of other companies but I found Luxury Moon reasonably priced, their website is easy to navigate and delivery is very speedy. I did have a slight delay in receiving them but that was due to our national mail service and not anything at all to do with the company. In the future I plan to also look into alternatives to tampons such as this but I am still doing some reasearch.

I will update at a later stage to share how I get on with this new way of doing things.

Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Inspiration

No Impact Project

For those of you not familiar with Colin Beavan and the experiment he and his family undertook. I urge you to watch the documentary No Impact Man. I stumbled upon it whilst on a flight from Oz back to the UK and for me, it was like a lightning bolt to the brain. Colin, his wife and their young daughter live in NYC and in stages, over the course of a year, they try to see if they can reduce the negative impact they have on the environment to as little as possible....with the ULTIMATE aim of making NO IMPACT at all. To the point that they are using only people powered transport, they are wiping the bottoms with washable wipes and eventually they even turn the power off completely in their flat. The compassion and honesty of the family stop it from feeling gimmicky and the way it's tackled in stages leaves you with a feeling of "Yeah, I can do that!".

People had been telling me there were better ways to live for a long time but this documentary was the first time I felt like what I did mattered, that it would make a difference and that I might not be able to change the world in a drastic way but I could change me.

The much cited not using toilet roll etc exposed me to certain social conditionings I didn't realise I had. While I have yet to move over to a non-disposable system, it is definitely on the cards and no longer makes me turn my nose up in disgust.

Crunchy Chicken
It was actually during subsequent research of toilet paper (tp) alternatives that I discovered the Crunchy Chicken aka Deanna Duke blog. Her entries on Cloth Wipe Challenges  gave me the hows, whys and advantages of turning away from tp. When you think about the amount of the world that doesn't use it vs. the amount that do, is it really as terrible as you might first think? The Crunchy Chicken blog really helped convince me that I was being close minded and somewhat brainwashed into thinking that tp was the only way.
Anyway, once I get closer to the conversion I'm sure there will be more to share on this delightful subject! :)

Joe The Juicer/Fat,Sick and Nearly Dead
Joe Cross is a straight talking Aussie (is there any other kind? lol) with an amazing documentary about his journey from being overweight and ill to the picture of radiant health. His secret? A re-balancing ("reboot") juice fast. Though I haven't actually done a juice fast per se, Joe's testimonial played a huge part in my impetus to assess what I was actually putting into my body and what kind of an impact it might be having.

I'm sure more inspirational voices will be added to the list over time and I will write more as and when that happens. But to start, in various guises, all three of these people are on FB and Twitter if you feel curious/inspired further.

Vegetarian....Vegan....Raw

For a long time now I have tried not to eat animal products. Not out of some huge righteous ethical stance (though sadness for the poor moo cows does play a part).

This is not intended to be a rant on the evils of meat eating. It is merely known fact that vegetarianism is better for the environment.

I chose to stop eating animal products for the health benefits. I find I feel better, have more energy and get sick less often when I eat a mostly vegan diet.

A lot of people I have found, when you say you are vegan, become incredibly concerned about your nutrition....but what about calcium? What about protein?

The image of the energy deficient, rickets and scurvy suffering vegetarian or vegan is NOT because they are vegetarian or vegan...it is because they have poor diet.

Someone who doesn't eat meat or dairy but instead lives on cans of coke, chips and dark chocolate bars is not going to have much energy and is CERTAINLY going to have nutrient deficiencies.

If you eat a diet based on fresh fruits, vegetables and wholegrain it is a no brainer that you are going to have a much better health level than someone who eats a typical highly processed, additive containing western diet.

A book on the subject that has been of great inspiration to me but which is NOT about advocating banning meat is Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food .

This book is not about veganism or even vegetarianism but simply about trying to eat foods that are REAL foods and not a multitude of chemical formulas. Eating things as close to nature as possible.

A form of eating that takes this to the Nth degree is Raw Veganism. Whilst I appreciate the concepts of such diets, particularly Fruitarianism, and I have dabbled a little in this area - buying raw foods when out, making some raw food recipes and drinking fruit smoothies - I am not quite ready to get so extreme.

I do, however, have a green smoothie on a daily basis.

Oh, and p.s. - with regards to calcium and protein - 1 cup of spinach has almost the same amout of calcium as a cup of milk but milk has only 1/3 of the amout of potassium. Potassium and other such minerals are necessary for the absorption of calcium. You can drink ten gallons of milk if you like but the majority of the calcium in it, you are going to quite literally pee away!
As for protein, yes, meat is the best source BUT the RDA is only 46g whereas half a turkey breast contains 96g! ...I'm no doctor or nutritionist but the controversy of the original version of the Atkins diet (kidney problems, loss of calcium, high blood pressure, heart disease) shows that a diet too high in protein may not be a good thing.

I'm not adding this to lecture you on how NAUGHTY you are for eating meat but in order that you think before lecturing ME about my nutrition because it's just fine thanks very much! :)